Today my daughter ate “brownies” at the park. I did not bring them so as I watched her stuff her face with something she had picked up off the ground I was a bit worried. Being about 20 feet away from her, on a blanket under a tree with her baby brother, there wasn’t much I could do but call out to her to not eat whatever she was eating. She ran over to me with a big smile on her face and said they were just brownies and ran off again. From the brown stuff that I noticed stuck around her mouth before she darted away, I assumed they were most likely anything but brownies. I was mortified and yelled to her not to eat anything else. As the park fun continued she attempted to eat a suspicious berry from a tree in which I had to chase her down while holding my 4 month old in his car seat to stop her. She had it in her mouth but spit it out once she saw me racing towards her with a look of horror on my face! Today I was a mother who yelled and said things that I promised myself I would never say like, “Okay, I’m leaving now, see ya later.” In a desperate attempt to get my two year old to follow me to the car, I pretended to be leaving her all together.
I never wanted to be that kind of mom but then I had 3 kids and everything went out the window. I now scream in public so that my child won’t poison herself. I chase little people down in an attempt to stop them from eating poop brownies. I don’t even hide behind the huge rock that’s sitting 5 feet away to peel the soiled shorts off my potty training daughter. I forgot my breast feeding cover today and guess what, my baby still got hungry and I still had to feed him so I did it in public without a cover… eek!
I am not quite sure how moms do it. Mostly they are so calm and reserved, in public at least. Every once in awhile I will see a crazy one, a mom at her wits end, a mom who’s about to lose it. I see those moms and think “Yikes, glad that’s not me.” And before I had kids I would look at them and think, “I will never be that kind of mom.” Well today I was that mom, in public at a park I was that mom and I’m certain I have been that mom before and I will be that mom again. I’m so glad that I can proudly admit that I definitely don’t have it all together, that I sweat a lot more than I used to and that’s during just normal non sweaty things. I Sometimes pee my pants while exercising (or not). I yell when I’m worried about my kids hurting themselves and sometimes I lose my temper when my bare feet get stepped on repeatedly. (Literally feels like the skin is being ripped off) So yes I will accept the crazy park visits along with the peaceful ones. I will accept the painful moments along with the gentle hugs. Today we left the park in one piece so today was a success in my book!