I have a confession…. I’m burnt out and I’m proud to admit it.
A little back story…
I don’t like to complain, I don’t like to be tired with what I’m doing. I don’t like to be ungrateful.
I’m the type of person that has a bad day and always tries to thank God that he even allowed me to have it. Every day is a gift. My kids waking up everyday is a gift, my husband kissing me goodbye in the morning and kissing me goodnight in the evening is a gift.
I know this.
I’m a stay at home mom who will and kinda is homeschooling, that is my choice, that is a blessing and while some days I wanna cry, I pick my laundry basket up and try to be the best mom/wife I can be. Who knows how long this special gift will last right?
I try to show love and kindness to everyone and I try even harder to love people, actually love them. I will admit there is a handful of people that are pretty much a constant in my life that make it very hard sometimes.
But this last week and I know probably several times in the past, I’ve been just done. There are a lot of balls in the air and I feel like right now they are at my feet. I am not arrogant enough to believe that I’m the only one to go through this, everyone does and I’m not trying to play the woe is me game. But I will say that in the past I haven’t let myself admit when I’m tired or in a funk or burnt out and this time around I kinda feel like shouting it to the roof tops. Not complain but accept that this comes even with the most exciting of lives.
I’ve realized I shouldn’t be ashamed of feeling tired and burnt out. I shouldn’t go into hiding or pretend mode. I shouldn’t feel like the dead beat mom who isn’t stoked to pick up toys for the 11 hundredth time! It’s okay to be tired, it’s okay to feel burnt out and I should feel good that I have things that keep me busy and burn me out.
Honestly I’m just happy that I’m able to have balls in the air in the first place. I’m happy that I have food in the fridge that I’m too tired to prepare. Yes I’m ending this on a positive note because as I’ve explained I can’t help myself….
Just because I’m tired or burnt out or feel like curling up into a ball and sleeping for 12 hours doesn’t mean I’m a failure and it doesn’t mean I’m not grateful. It just means I have that much more to hold onto. That much more to embrace and that maybe a weekend away is well overdue.
So to the rooftops I sing….
I’m burnt out and it feels so good!