My Stuff is Better than all of Your Stuff

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My stuff is better than all of your stuff.

That is what an almost 4 year old told me today. I’ve heard the same thing from this same little kiddo a few times but this time I was deeply offended.

Yes, an almost 4 year old deeply offended me. (Oh I love kids and how they can make you feel bad without even knowing it or trying. Yes I was offended, I’m not proud) It’s not because what they said is true or that I’m envious of “all of their stuff” but it’s more of a situation where as a parent of the same age kids I can’t imagine my kids saying this to anyone and for that matter multiple times. (It would break my heart just a little if they looked at things like this or made other kids feel bad. I’m sure there will come a day though…:/) I know that kids will be kids and they say stuff not knowing really what they are even talking about but I have explained it to this particular child so many times. My kids have even responded with…

“But we have to be happy with what we have and what we get.”

My response is about the same, just a little more in-depth such as,

“Your stuff is better than my stuff, huh? Well your face…. ”

Pause, remain calm, I am 30 and this is a child… approach changes…

“It’s not about the things we have but the people who we get to share it with, like our brother and sisters or our neighbors and even people that we don’t know but don’t have as much as we do.”

My kids seem to understand this (and I’m not saying they are rays of sunshine all the time themselves.) There have been fits when they don’t want to do something or leave a certain place. My daughter is as stubborn as they come. I get it, they are kids and they are learning how to express their feelings and emotions and how to respond to certain situations and sometimes it’s not always how I want them to act. Okay okay okay now that all being said…

“My stuff is better than all of your stuff.”

Said in various ways to me and my kids the last few times we’ve been around this child is really starting to get under my skin and I automatically think, this kids parents are creating a monster. (Those are just my instant ideas, I’m sure it’s not true and I’m sure they are just lovely!) I have to pull my annoyed feelings inwards because again I do realize that this cute little kiddo is only 4ish.

I also realize that this is one of many times my kids may be told things like this, that children will not treat them kindly or fairly and that they will probably wonder or start feeling like they deserve more, that it’s normal for others to get everything they want right when they want it and if its normal for these other kids then why aren’t they given everything their hearts desire as well. So I really can’t hold it against this child (maybe their parents;) but I can try my hardest to instill in my children what the most important desires of our hearts should be. Not to desire things but to desire love, a generous heart, a giving spirit, our family and friends and people in general. A genuine love for God.

Those things are my desires for my kiddos and for others kiddos as well. Even the ones that tell me how horrible all of our stuff is. ๐Ÿ˜‰

So, moral of the story, here’s to not letting a cute little almost 4 year old hurt my feelings… again.

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10 thoughts on “My Stuff is Better than all of Your Stuff”

  1. I completely understand where you’re coming from. I don’t have kids myself, unlikely at my age that I will, but I would raise mine with the same compassion and understanding that you are.
    And well done for maintaining your cool with that 4 year old! As you say, she’s just a kid so not really to blame but her parents are doing her a terrible injustice raising her with such a bad attitude.

      1. It is sad. I can’t help but wonder what school will be like for that little one? Kids with that kind of attitude can end up ostracised ๐Ÿ˜•
        And you’re welcome! This was a really interesting read. Happy Friday ๐Ÿ™‚

      1. It is. Especially when it’s your kids versus other people’s kids. We have to model good behaviors but it can be hard if they are “tuned out” to other people’s emotions. A lot of my students cannot pick up on small social cues. They can only seem to understand or respond to large over the top ones. So it can be hard to teach them the difference between apathy and mild annoyance or being calm and being quietly happy. They just can’t see it. As parents though, we can try to help our children understand that! As for my students, it’s a long road…

      2. Yeah it’s a lot different when it’s someone else’s child. I think that’s one of the reasons I struggled to not get offended or annoyed because when all is said and done they will go back to be raised the way they are raised and I can’t do much about that.

      3. Truer words my friend. A friend of mine taught Special Education of exceptional students. They were wheelchair bound, feeding tubes etc. by the end of the school year she’d have them eating regular food, feeding themselves the regular food, no tube, and some cases using walkers to get around. Then the summer hit. Next school year, back on the tube, back in the chair. She’d start over again. What can you do?

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