Tag Archives: Bible

My Journey Back

Proverbs 1- Wisdom calls aloud in the street, she raises her voice in the public square, at the head of the noisy street she cries out. How long will you simple ones love your simple ways?

I’ve been drowning in a bittersweet pool of daily chores, school work, teaching, mothering, wifing and all around trying to be a put together human being. I’ve been so busy keeping all of my blessings in check that I have forgotten to remember who gave them to me in the first place. I have forgotten to give credit where credit is due. I’ve blamed my lack of sleep on the children, who for the most part sleep through the night, sometimes in our bed but they still get a solid nights sleep these days. I blame my lack of quiet time in the Bible and a real relationship with God on everything from my checklist when really my checklist is, well let’s face it….. Crap!

I believe that being in the Bible daily and having a moment (and sometimes that’s really all it will end up being, just one moment) with God will change the course of my day. I believe this because I’ve lived it. Before I let this world get ahold of me, before my list of priorities became somewhat skewed, I’ve felt that change, that strength, that patience, that love, all those things that can only come from a growing relationship with God course through me when I needed it most. (Usually around 2:00 everyday) But for the last several months I’ve been more irritable, I’ve been biting my tongue a lot more when my son isn’t figuring something out as quickly as I think he should throughout our school day. When in all reality I want to be able to possess the grace and the compassion and the patience that I try to instill in my children everyday. How can I do that when I am lacking those qualities myself?

I’ve known I’ve needed a change and I’ve known how to fix it for awhile now but still my priorities weren’t quite cutting it. I wasn’t making the changes that I needed to. I just kept my worries and yearning for something more bottled up inside of me. Do you believe that God puts people in your life at just the right time? I definitely do. I’m sure it’s happened a lot more than I’ve actually noticed but this time around I definitely did. I’m 31 and I have a new friend. A person who I’ve gotten close to just within the last few months and we have both realized how much alike we actually are… but I think she is much lovelier. She is so kind and considerate and thoughtful. Well a few nights ago she invited me on a trip with her to Hy-vee to pick up some groceries she’d ordered online. Haha she admits that it was kind of an odd invite but I said “sure, I needed to pick up coffee.” So away we went, on a Friday night I believe. What else are two moms to do on a weekend? Anyways, she got to talking and then I got to talking and I finally worked up the nerve to ask her what kind of devotion or study she uses to motivate herself to get up at 6 am every morning and spend time with God. I wanted that so much but honestly I’ve never been all that open when it comes to sharing my spiritual needs with someone else. Well, she made some suggestions and by the end of that trip to Hy-vee I had a new skip in my step. I felt lighter within my soul. I’m not sure how to explain it but I knew that confiding in someone else who has this beautiful heart for God and letting them in, helped me. I knew that I would wake up the next morning (I’m still working on getting up at 6am) at least a little earlier than usual and open my Bible, open my notebook and just spend a little time with God.

And I did.

Starting in Proverbs, with a chapter a day. So far I haven’t had to search very hard to feel lead to write down parts of the chapter that moved me. That have inspired me. (There have been so many.) I felt like the first chapter of Proverbs was fitting to get me started on my journey back to God. To building on a relationship that I’ve let slip through my finger tips. I’ve found that searching for wisdom and guidance and love is only possible through his word, it’s only possible when there is a relationship there. An ever growing relationship that is so much more important than my timeline, my comfort, and my sleep schedule.

 

Advertisements

My Oh So Messy Table ~ Priceless

image

Today was one of those very stormy spring days. Dark and gloomy with thunder and lightening that kept my 3 year old’s bottom on my lap and hands over her ears.

Today was one of those days that mommy had things to do. While the laundry had been washed and folded and even put away there were still so many other things on the to-do list.

Today was one of those days that didn’t go as planned. Storms had us inside, frightened children kept chores from being completed.

Today my 3 year old crawled up into my lap and buried her head in my chest. I closed my eyes and rested my check on her forehead. When I opened them that’s when I saw it, straight ahead was a sight that made me give a great big ole sigh. The table was cluttered with more than the eyes could take in. The motivation inside of me to clean kicked in and I almost jumped up to tend to the mess that blanketed the table when my 3 year old clasped her fingers tighter on my arm. I Hugged her tighter and gave my messy table the stink eye. I started to put each thing that didn’t belong back in it’s rightful place in my head. Not sure what that was going to do but I’m never in cleaning mode so didn’t want to lose my momentum. As I categorized and planned my attack for cleaning that table I realized something.

I loved everything on that table. I appreciated everything on that table and besides the clutter itself, everything on that table was priceless.

Here’s why…

Cup of Coffee – There are no words…

That large stack of library books – we get to go and pick through hundreds of books at our local library any time we want for free. My kids love books and they learn so much from them.

Wipes – the ability to clean up my disgusting babies in one fell swoop.

Adult bible and bible for children – the most important part of our day and sometimes it’s the first thing that goes forgotten or pushed to the side, but not today.

Dinosaur bag – this was my oldest sons first back pack that made him feel like a big boy, my youngest son who is 1 year old today gets to feel like a big boy with this same bag. (This mama is getting all teary eyed up in here.)

Venom Cup – these hold my children’s precious drinks. Usually water and milk, (thank the Lord for a child who prefers that over juice;)

Centerpiece – we all need something pretty to look at.

High chair tray – this keeps my youngest safe while he eats.

Materials for kids crafts – crafts that teach my children how to be creative and artistic and most of all it’s our happy place.

Purse – this precious thing holds almost everything I need while I am on the go with all my kiddos.

As I looked ahead and had my aha moment, I suddenly didn’t feel the urgent need to clear away all of these priceless things from this priceless table that I used to eat at with my parents when I was little.

So I sat and held my daughter until the storms passed.

Sometimes it’s okay to look at a mess and appreciate the beauty in it!

3 Day Quote Challenge (1) Romans

I was recently challenged by Palatable Adventures  to the 3-Day Quote Challenge.  Thank you so much Kristy! Her blog is so fun, go check it out when you get the chance!

My first quote is a verse found in Romans 8:31. I absolutely love this verse.

image

“Who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31) The answer to this is “no one.” Sure we can be persecuted and hurt here on earth, but eternally we will live and bask in the Glory of Christ forever. – Article by Derek Hill. You can read the rest of the article here. I love this article, it pretty much sums up how I feel about this verse. I hope it gives you peace even during the pain here on earth as much as it does me!!

If you accept this 3-day challenge, post 1-3 quotes for 3 consecutive days, nominating 3 fellow bloggers to do the same.

I am nominating the following bloggers today to this challenge.

Adventures in Teaching My Own

Blogging with Britt

Strings to Wings

Here’s to happy quoting!!

School Madness at Home

image

Today I got My Father’s World 1st grade curriculum for my oldest son. We won’t start until fall of this year but it has been between this or Sonlight for about a year and I just couldn’t go back and forth in my head anymore (I’m about to go nuts!) so I went ahead and jumped the gun and bought MFW.

My reasonings for this was because they both have great reviews, they both have a schedule laid out for me, the only difference and really deciding factor was the price. This being our first full year of homeschooling I just couldn’t imagine shelling out almost a thousand dollars when I’m not sure how it will even work for us and at this time I’m only planning on homeschooling the elementary years but I’m always open to whatever comes our way.

All that being said I got this box of books and worksheets and ideas and activities and although there is a laid out plan I can’t help but feel overwhelmed. I’m sure once I get it organized I will feel a little better. Lets hope anyways.

So what are your thoughts? Has anyone ever used or is using My Father’s World? How does it compare to other curriculums? I realize that I have already bought it but would still love to hear some feedback.

Here’s to over preparation and uneasiness!;)

Is This Marriage On?

image

Have you ever treated your marriage like a microphone that just isn’t carrying your voice. You aren’t sure if you are being heard, if your words are coming across clearly so you just keep tapping the microphone, tapping it until you hear that loud vibrating bomp it gives off when it’s working. Occasionally I feel like I’m just waiting to hear that bomp in my marriage. Just a sign that my husband sees me, a sign that we aren’t really roommates who’ve decided to have kids together for the increased tax return. I don’t think I’m alone in these thoughts. It’s not like they are all the time but all marriages do go through slumps. If someone tries to argue with me on this please look at divorce statistics first and if you can convince me that a divorce isn’t the worst kind of slump in a marriage than I might just have to give you a gold star. Yeah, you thought about it, I’m not giving out any gold stars today am I? Same with those marriages that last 50-60 years. You can’t be under the same roof with somebody that long without a few terrifying slumps!

Mr. Lane and I have had our share of slumps, sometimes it’s just getting into the routine of turning on the television right after the kids are down and not really interacting the rest of the night. Sometimes it’s not really seeing each other, not taking the time to show our love to one another. I’ve heard people say,

“Well, you shouldn’t have to see proof to know that your spouse loves you.”

Okay, I get what you’re saying, if you are really in love then they should just know how you feel and that be that. But then come those dreaded slumps, the microphone moments when you just don’t know if that marriage, that love is working anymore. Those slumps can easily turn into slopes if we let them. Mr. Lane and I have fallen into the snare of a downward slump/slope and it took one of us noticing, one of us saying, WOAH… wait a minute here this thing, this once wonderful and loving marriage is slowly dying. Thank the Lord that one of us has always shown the other love, put the other back on top of their list of priorities and trudged up out of that slump. It takes work, it takes determination and a little humbling of oneself to do it but it can be done.

John 13:34 says, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”

So how has God loved us? How does God love us? Well, he shows me everyday by the blessings he has given me, my children, my marriage (slump or no slump), his forgiveness and grace that constantly overwhelms me because I know I don’t deserve it. When I feel like this marriage isn’t working, when it feels like there isn’t enough love to carry it, that’s when I think of all the ways God loves. Showing I love my husband can be as small as bringing home Mike and Ikes because that’s his favorite candy or as big as a scavenger hunt around the house, which I’ve done by the way and I think I had more fun with it than he did but it’s the thought that counts. I’m sure you can go bigger than that but remember I’m a stay at home mom;).

So when you are wishing your spouse would give a little and show some love first and then you can return it, remember there is no prize for the quietest mouse game. And if there is it’s not going to be much better than a little tootsie roll which doesn’t last long and hurts later. (I’m not the greatest at metaphors but after rereading that one I’ve decided to keep it because it gave me a little chuckle.)

I understand that all marriages have different struggles and hurts. Some have seen much better days and some have already seen their final days. I just write about what I’ve learned in my marriage and what has helped us get through some not so lovey dovey marriage moments and I’m sure there will be more to come but I also know that if we love like God loves than it’s easier to get through it, easier to love with your whole heart even when we don’t feel it in return. I always think about how sad it must make God to have so many not return his love but how he still loves us regardless. I sure am thankful for that.

Here’s to turning that marriage back on!

(I wrote this a couple years ago and came across while going through my past entries. I actually read it at the exact moment I needed it so thought I would repost)

That thing called Relationship

I had a lot of goals for 2014. A lot! My first priority/goal was to have a closer relationship with God. With this being my #1 goal for 2014 it’s only natural that this is the last thing I’ve started working on this year, isn’t that unfortunate. While very unfortunate and sad it actually gave me inspiration for this post and inspiration to start with a bang! Here we go….

I believe that a relationship with God is something that takes work,  sometimes there are days when I have no desire to open my bible or I think I’m too busy for prayer. I find that on these particular days (there’s been a lot lately) it takes hard work and determination to make the time and find the desire. I’ve also discovered that when I make the time and muster up some desire, my days are filled with a little more joy. On those days when I barely have the time to peek into my bible but do anyways I’m more likely to be reminded of all the blessings God has bestowed upon my family. Just the fact that I’m able to read the bible and serve God should be more than enough everyday! After days like that, when God strikes me with such awe and love and joy how can I go another day without the desire to dip into his word and praise him? And yet those days come. I really struggled with this last year and I’m hoping to make some major spiritual changes everyday, not just this year but indefinitely.

I believe surrounding yourself with the word and other believers more than just once a week gives you inspiration and perhaps more desire to grow closer to God.  This season in our small group we are doing a study by Andy Stanley called “Christian, It’s Not What You Think” Our first meeting was about being disciples, rather than “christians” of God and showing love to everyone and through that love others will know that you are a disciple of God. I’m also continuing in a women’s bible study with our church. Beth Moore’s study  “David, Seeking a Heart like His”. While I’m excited about both studies and look forward to learning and growing from them, there’s something that matter’s more… I know that even if I go to a bible study every day of the week and a good church and I have all these great godly friends that I get to hangout with but don’t have a relationship with God then I have nothing.  I’ve missed out on what it’s all about. Everyday we talk to God, everyday that we praise him and spread his word and die for him is another victory in furthering his kingdom and knowing that gets me really excited!

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.” Revelations 3:20