Tag Archives: parents

A Whole New World

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Preschool has come to an end for my oldest. The next few months will hopefully be full of fun and play and preparation for homeschooling in the fall. It will be our first year and a whole new world for us as a family.

So thankful that I am able to make the choice to homeschool and that I finally have a peace about it!!

Here’s to new beginnings and all the adventures to come!

Stay tuned for more homeschooling plans at the Lane homestead!

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“Parenting is hard!” – Well what did you expect?

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The last few days, it seems like everywhere I turn I read something or I hear someone complain about how hard parenting is. (And I’m not talking about a humorous post about all the shenanigans throughout parenting or a passing “this child is crazy” phrase that we all think and sometimes say) Mega parent complainers who are tired, they are worn out, they need some “me” time. They are actually rude and almost unforgiving toward their own child. I kinda want to say and in most recent instances have had to bite my tongue…

“Well what did you expect?”

What in the world are we expecting parenthood to be. If we do it right and actually want what is best for our children then yes it’s going to kick our butts from time to time. The gray hairs are gonna come, the tired eyes, the frown lines, the headaches, the heartbreak, the tears, worry, fear, exhaustion and doubt… etc etc etc etc…

It seems to me that most parents think they are getting into some sort of ‘walk in the park’ adventure. They think having a baby is going to be like those toys that came out in the 90’s, you know the ones… Nano Pets or the Tamagotchis. Those things were the bee’s knees for like a week when I was ten.

I feel like as parents we focus a lot on the negative, on “woe is me” scenarios and we keep reminding everyone how hard parenting is when what we should be reminding everyone and ourselves is although it is very hard it also ends way too soon. We should look at each day as a gift because that is what it is. No matter what you believe in, I don’t think many people could argue with that. I hear stories and know people who have lost their little ones to illness or tragedy. One day they are here and the next day they aren’t and if we can’t see how precious these days are that we have together then we are gonna miss them more when they are gone. And they will be, one day. Kids will grow up, parents will get older and these everyday moments that seem so annoying right now will be a faded memory. A snapshot tucked away in the family photo album.

I sure hope that when I look back one day that I’m not sad because I didn’t choose happiness and joy amidst all the chaos that is raising children. Instead of venting every chance I get (don’t get me wrong, I’m not unfamiliar with a good vent session and I’m not saying that sometimes they aren’t needed) I should remember that there will come a time when my child will no longer do the things that I find a little tiring in the season that we are in.

One day they will no longer…

Ask to be held for the thousandth time that day, and usually as soon as I have a fresh cup of coffee in my hand.

Crawl into bed with us in the middle of the night…. crushing many sensitive body parts in their path.

Beg us to lay down with them every night by wrapping their arms around our necks so tight we don’t know whether to start fighting for a breath or just give in and lay down.

Ask us to read “just one more book”

Try to eat the food we have because it looks better. “Me share with you mommy?”

Have potty accidents and seek us for help and comfort…. and the dreaded clean up.

There are so many more and I could really go on and on but those are some of the things that happen on a daily basis and sometimes I wanna pull my hair out. I’m only human! But then I remember(at least most of the time) that one day they will be all grown up and I will ache to hold them, console them, cuddle with them, take care of them, clean up after them. I will miss stealing one last peek of them in their beds at night.

These moments should be embraced with compassion, not complained about to the point of becoming cruel to our children(whether to their face or not) and continually casting them as the subject of all our complaints.

We were once children ourselves after all!!

So here’s to embracing rather than complaining.

At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
-Matthew 18:1-3

“Adults are just outdated children.” 
  — Dr. Seuss 

“Children need models rather than critics.” 
  — Joseph Joubert, French moralist

My Crafty Creators

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From metal to magnificent – by my father, who never ceases to amaze me.

This is one of the many pieces that my dad makes and has on his Etsy shop (which is set up and run by my mother.)
Here is the link if you wanna see more. MudDaubermtg

I just received the half windmill and the word BLESSED for my birthday and I couldn’t help but feel blessed with such wonderful creative parents. My dad, the welder. My mom, the craftiest person I know. They both have Etsy shops which is how they make their living now and I’m so proud of them for all of their hard work. My dad has had his own welding business for years and years and is now finally getting to create his own pieces for people literally all over the world. I’m sorry but I have to dote on them a ton because they have spent their life loving and supporting and encouraging me. Hopefully I can spend the rest of my life doing the same for them!

To see more pics of the awesome birthday gifts they made scroll down. Also visit their shops. They are pretty incredible!

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This, my mom made. The baskets are on hooks so we can take them down and fill them with deliciousness from the garden

Here are some pics from happy clients. Super fun to see where some of his stuff has ended up and what people do with it.

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Probably one of the coolest… stage in NYC. Used his letters and put lights in them for the play.

The apple fell way too far from the tree because my craftiness is pretty much nonexistent.

So here’s to my parents and all of their artistic abilities!!

Parents and Sneaky Bedtime Routines

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This picture pretty much sums up our night. My 2 year old is obsessed with popcorn. I went in to tuck her in for the thousandth time and she asks.

“Are you eating popcorn?”

“Yes, yes we are sis. I have some saved for you for snack tomorrow.”

“Can I see it?” She asks

Ummmm No Way! I think to myself as I gently tuck her in, shake my head and give her a kiss on the cheek.

She is a popcorn eater and she will eat the entire bowl if she was left on her own. I imagine this picture is what she is thinking and looking like right about now!

Conversations That End too Soon

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We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.” — Stacia Tauscher, dancer and artist

A conversation with my 2 year old daughter over the weekend went like this:

Little Miss: “I’m going to work.” She said as she picked up her play purse.
Me: “Where are you going to work at?”
Little Miss: “Small group.”
Me: “What are you going to do there?”
Little Miss: “Praise God!”

This made my heart happy. It made me joyful and proud. I pondered on it all weekend. There was something to it that I couldn’t quite place for a couple days that left me with an uneasy feeling. It came to me this morning: How many conversations have I missed out on? How many times have my children started to tell me something or just stated a fact about what they were doing and I didn’t follow up with a question? How many times have I missed out on the brilliant and beautiful responses that might have been but weren’t given the chance? I’m gonna go ahead and say, probably a lot.

Just this 2 minute conversation reminded me how much I want to know about my children. It reminds me that no matter how little they seem they do have some amazing insights on the world. Their thoughts may be short but they sure are sweet. Music to the ears.

So, next time our kiddos say something and we are in a hurry or seem a bit rushed or just preoccupied with other thoughts, try to remember to make the most of those little conversations or thoughts of theirs while they still want to have conversations with us. I know I’m sure gonna. Don’t be surprised if you see more of my posts filled with delightful conversations with my little Lanes.

Here’s to conversing with our little loves.

Now You See Me!

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We had an interesting start of 2015. In January we took our daughter to her very first eye doctor. What prompted us to do this was what we noticed about a month earlier. One morning she woke up and her right eye was turning inwards. I noticed but thought maybe she was just tired and her not even being two yet I had heard of that happening but within a day or two everyone we came across that actually knew us asked what was wrong with her eye and that’s when I started to panic. I probably wouldn’t have so quickly but on my husbands side there are people in his family that have had this happen. His nephew is actually legally blind in the turned in eye because it wasn’t noticed in time and taken care of.

So I made a few phone calls to her pediatrician, who referred us to an AMAZING eye doctor who then checked her eyes and found that her site was fine but that she may be seeing double vision because of the turning in. They then tell me this is called Strabismus and that the eye needed to be corrected so first things first… Glasses! And boy were the glasses cute! I mean this girl could pull off glasses so it wasn’t too tragic if this was just what she had to do. My husband wears glasses as does millions of other people, we were kinda hoping that glasses would do the trick.

BUT

A few months passed and her eye continued turning in so I tried to patch the working eye and while it made her turned in eye appear straight when it was covering the opposite eye it still wasn’t doing much to strengthen that muscle.

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It’s devastating when you get the news that your child has to have surgery. I don’t care if it’s the simplest surgery on the planet, it is still not something you want to happen. We are lucky because we had some amazing doctors and while we did have to do a bit of traveling for the surgery and the post op she came through just fine. I’m not gonna lie and say it wasn’t trying. I mean a two year old having their eyes cut into is pretty traumatic. The surgery pretty much meant they had to go in and shorten or lengthen the muscles in her eyes to straighten them out. They ended up having to go in on both eyes. It luckily only took about an hour and a half for the actual surgery and they released us about 2 hours later which I wish now they wouldnt have.

The ride home was terrible. The sun had a huge affect on her eyes, about an hour into our drive home she just lost it. The whites of her eyes were already blood red and would be for about two weeks but her tears were what pulled my heart strings. They were filled with blood and the drainage from her nose was bloody. It was heartbreaking. I mean this poor girl was just a mess and mommy couldn’t do a thing about it. It was horrible. I rocked her in a Walmart parking lot for about 30 minutes before she finally fell asleep in my arms. I slipped her back into her seat and we hit the road again. Luckily she slept the next two hours without much disturbance. Hubby and I sighed in relief when we pulled into our driveway.

Home with our baby.

Now, I realize children have gone through much worse so I am so grateful that it was just a corrective surgery and that the risks were very minimal and I feel blessed everyday that I see her eyes working together to look at me. I feel blessed that her doctor was so amazing that she still talks about him. She still prays and thanks God for helping the doctor fix her eyes. (Boy do I love hearing that prayer.) We have one last check up appointment with her local eye doctor just to make sure her eye sight is still good and hopefully the seeing double is taken care of.

No matter what goes on with our children, big or small, it hurts our hearts for them. It reminds us to be grateful for everyday that is given to us and to enjoy our children and our family as much as possible. My daughter is alright but we won’t ever forget the worry we felt and the faith that had to work overtime to get us through. We will never forget the strength of our little one and the pure and genuine gratitude that she still shows God by thanking him most nights in prayer. It is a wonderful thing to see the love and faith through a child’s eyes.

Final thought: Some days I really miss those pink little glasses!

Traveling with Toddlers

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Not even 10 miles from our house it started….

“ARE WE THERE YET?”

I honestly have never heard this question from my kids before. My parents live about 30 minutes away, it takes us about that long to get to town as well and never have I heard that question until now. Maybe it’s because I warned my 4-year-old that we were going to go on a trip and it will take longer than usual but when we get there we will have fun fun fun. I think me preparing my child for “the long part” worked against me. It aided in him chiming in way too early and way too often about how long this was going to take. The question wasn’t always exactly the same but they all had the same goal in mind…. getting there and fast.

“Are we there yet?”

“Are we close?”

“Are we here?”

“Is it getting closer?”

“Is it almost here?”

I’m sure there were other variations but these were the ones I heard the most. Now I know my last post was about missing even the worst days and because of that new insight I kept reminding my husband that one day it will just be me and him in the car and it will be dreadfully quite and we will probably, most likely, maybe miss this day. He gave me an unlikely look to match my own uncertainty. Now this was only a 3 hour trip but the longest we have ever driven with all three children… 4, 2 and 2 months. At several points they were all screaming at the same time. Those were not so fun either but as we pulled into our destination we sighed in relief and the entire car erupted in joy because yes, in fact we had made it and we were there! The day was awesome and I have pictures to prove it. Train Cafes, Crayola Store, Toy Stores and a movie. I wasn’t going to add in the doctor’s appointment we had for my daughter, which is the only reason we took the trip but even that was fun for them. They played games and watched TV in the office. They were transfixed. The doctor’s appointment for my 2-year-old was better than the car ride. Hmmm something doesn’t add up. Fortunately she has an amazing eye doctor that did an amazing job on her eyes but that’s a story for another post.

So day is done…. oh no… the drive home….

I was actually thinking the drive home would be better. It was getting late, they’d had no naps so maybe some snoozing and some fast food and we would be in the clear. I don’t know what happened and where my children got all their energy for that ride home but it turned into a circus or that really terrible daycare room on Toy Story 3 that even the toys themselves want to avoid. There were straws spraying water, toys hitting us in the head, screaming and arguing toddlers that just wouldn’t give into each other and then the little feet kicking the driver in the back of his seat. Now my husband is a very patient man, especially with the children but after about the 20th time of him telling our oldest to stop kicking his seat and still not getting any relief, he pressed his entire body back and as soon as he does this we hear a very sad sound from the back.

“Mommy, daddy just kicked me in my feet!”

Our 4-year-old couldn’t believe that he would be treated this way after all that he’s done for us this trip. Hubs and I tried to hide our laughter at this very grown up 4 year old complaint. How dare daddy cause a little pressure from his seat to be felt by our sons very important feet.

So as the night wore on we stopped at a beloved Wendy’s… yummy(I have a thing for a particular salad there) and while the hubs went in and ordered we stayed in the truck and I fed the baby. Now I might add that we had to borrow my parents extended cab truck for this trip because the a/c in our SUV inconveniently went out the day before and I can’t even imagine adding a hot car to my children’s unhappiness. So while sitting in the Wendy’s parking lot, which was packed by the way, the a/c suddenly turned lukewarm and as I breastfed my 2 month old the sweat started to gleam endlessly on my face. The children’s wails rose to an unprecedented volume and I began to panic. I was certain that the a/c was going out and that the 100 degree feeling temp outside was going to kill us all. About 15 minute’s later and when I was just about to faint not only by the heat but the very high-pitched back seat the hubs finally came out with bags of Wendy’s food and a look that told me he may have just aged about 15 years in that Wendy’s, his face fell even further when he opened the door. It was smoking hot and no Apple Pecan Salad was gonna make me or anyone else in that truck happy. He put the food down and started to move all the bags that I had stacked up in front of the dashboard so that I could maneuver the baby out of his seat in the back and up front with me. Like a sudden change in the wind I felt the cool on my face. Apparently in my attempt to nourish one child I had hit a button on the dash that made the rest of us nearly miss a bout of heat exhaustion. After the button was pushed and the little green light lit up indicating that we were no longing getting outside air we thanked the Lord, stuffed our faces and headed towards home.

The rest of the trip – about an hour went a little better, not great but at that point I wasn’t about to start complaining. And about 20 miles from our house the backseat was filled with steady sleeping breaths. As we pulled into our driveway and came to our final stop of the day we both glanced to the back and then gave each other a sweet smile… Little Miss had her head back, arms flung out beside her in defeat and the cutest drool running down her chin. Little Sir’s head hung down and the smallest of snores rumbled from his nose. And as for our Littlest, I couldn’t see him but his silence was good enough. We carried them inside and laid them down, placing the smallest sweep of a kiss on each of their foreheads. As we fell on the couch to embrace the quiet and the familiar of our home we both closed our eyes and sighed. I whispered, “Well that was a pretty good trip.” and my husband agreed and now we are planning a trip to Walt Disney World.

This is when you say, “WHAT?”

Ummm, I’m not quite sure how we did it but it seems that we want to do it again and even longer this time. It must be like being pregnant, you forget all the bad stuff, the swelling, the endless aches and pains and don’t get me started on the actual labor, you forget it all or maybe store it away under bittersweet because, while getting to the destination was a trial, what happened when you got there is where the memories will be kept and the road there will just be a funny/horrific story to tell someday. Well that’s what happened to us. So traveling with toddlers…. even as I write this I’m thinking, “oh it wasn’t that bad”. I guess to sum it up… the traveling itself is best to be left off the tales of your travels (too soon for us to joke about it, too soon.) One day we will enjoy the laughs and the memories of those travels, one day.

Happy Traveling.