Tag Archives: responsibilities

Burnt Out and it Feels so Good

I have a confession…. I’m burnt out and I’m proud to admit it.

A little back story…

I don’t like to complain, I don’t like to be tired with what I’m doing. I don’t like to be ungrateful.

I’m the type of person that has a bad day and always tries to thank God that he even allowed me to have it. Every day is a gift. My kids waking up everyday is a gift, my husband kissing me goodbye in the morning and kissing me goodnight in the evening is a gift.

I know this.

I’m a stay at home mom who will and kinda is homeschooling, that is my choice, that is a blessing and while some days I wanna cry, I pick my laundry basket up and try to be the best mom/wife I can be. Who knows how long this special gift will last right?

I try to show love and kindness to everyone and I try even harder to love people, actually love them. I will admit there is a handful of people that are pretty much a constant in my life that make it very hard sometimes.

But this last week and I know probably several times in the past, I’ve been just done. There are a lot of balls in the air and I feel like right now they are at my feet. I am not arrogant enough to believe that I’m the only one to go through this, everyone does and I’m not trying to play the woe is me game. But I will say that in the past I haven’t let myself admit when I’m tired or in a funk or burnt out and this time around I kinda feel like shouting it to the roof tops. Not complain but accept that this comes even with the most exciting of lives.

I’ve realized I shouldn’t be ashamed of feeling tired and burnt out. I shouldn’t go into hiding or pretend mode. I shouldn’t feel like the dead beat mom who isn’t stoked to pick up toys for the 11 hundredth time! It’s okay to be tired, it’s okay to feel burnt out and I should feel good that I have things that keep me busy and burn me out.

Honestly I’m just happy that I’m able to have balls in the air in the first place. I’m happy that I have food in the fridge that I’m too tired to prepare. Yes I’m ending this on a positive note because as I’ve explained I can’t help myself….

Just because I’m tired or burnt out or feel like curling up into a ball and sleeping for 12 hours doesn’t mean I’m a failure and it doesn’t mean I’m not grateful. It just means I have that much more to hold onto. That much more to embrace and that maybe a weekend away is well overdue.

So to the rooftops I sing….

I’m burnt out and it feels so good!

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This Just In! Adulthood is Here

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You would think having 3 babies and a husband and a mortgage would have brought the adult out in me but it hasnt, it’s been more like playing house. I get to burp and feed and dress my babies just like I did when I was six and had 20 pretend babies. Ive been practicing my whole life for that and I used to pretend I had husbands all the time too, they were fake and usually in the shape of a pillow but they were mine so…

BOOM PRACTICE!

I got taller but seem to have never stopped playing. That was until the last few months. I think that everything was all kinda coming at me real slow like and then

BAM

it hit me like a tractor. I saw it coming but wanted to keep picking flowers and didn’t move in time. Now I am an adult and I don’t quite know how to act or react.

Here are the 6 reasons why I’ve been kicked in the butt by adulthood.

1. We are saving up for a van, yes a van, but with 3 kids packed like sardines in the back seat of our SUV the idea of a van makes my heart melt.

2. I wear elastic waistbands all the time, I mean all the time!

3. I want to redo our house so we can sell it and buy the house we are gonna die in.

4. Makeup just doesn’t matter any more. While I do like to doll up still it is very rare that I have time for it. My face is naked and haggard and I just don’t have a chance to care.

5. I went to a pampered chef party and bought measuring cups….. measuring cups people!

6. I told my daughter she needed to fix her attitude, which is identical to what my mom said to me growing up.

I realize that these are silly reasons but when I noticed them and felt them all within a couple weeks of each other the word adulthood took my breath away.

I shall explain in a few short sentences, I am not at all afraid of getting older. I shrieked with glee when I turned 30. I will not dye my gray hairs and I will not get too fussy when I start wearing elastic pants all the time (wait, already there!). But the actual adulthood thing… eek. For some reason when I think of an adult I think of someone who doesn’t skip anymore or laugh out loud, or really have any fun at all.

I realize I totally have a misconception of the word.

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The actual definition of adult:

having attained full size and strength; grown up; mature: an adult person, animal, or plant.

Being a mature grown up never hurt anybody I suppose. It’s what my parents always wanted for me. (sigh)

So instead of running away and sulking I will just have to pull up my elastic adult pants and skip ahead. Embrace that word like I did 30 and pay my bills on time.

Yay for me!