Tag Archives: selfish

A Speck in the Night’s Sky

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There are things in this life that actually mean something. Things that are worth holding dear, things that are worth keeping safe and close to your heart.

When you have people in your life that mean something to you and when you mean something to people, it is okay to think of them when you make a decision, it is okay to consider their feelings.

Whether we are “grown ups” and can “do what we want” or not, sparing someone’s feelings should at least be in the forefront of our mind. Thinking of someone else, doing something you may not want to do or feel up to doing for someone else is something that I feel should come naturally, at least if it has to do with someone you truly love. I wish it was a lot easier, even if it isn’t someone we are extremely close to. (That’s when it gets really tricky)

What is our goal while we are here, in this world? Is it to, like so many things and “heartfelt” quotes I see, completely phase out the people who don’t make us feel good about ourselves, who don’t allow us to be a better person? There are few times when I see a quote like this or hear someone say this exact thing, that I actually agree with it. (I do believe that some people are toxic and can emotionally and physically be hurting you and in that instance I’m all for distancing yourself but I so often see or hear people wanting to rid themselves of everyone who makes them feel bad about themselves and the person doesn’t even have to do anything wrong to be on the dump list, except maybe appear happy of Facebook.)

Why can’t we be the someone who makes that other person want to be a better person? Why can’t we have a servant’s heart and do for others? Why don’t I have a servant’s heart and do for others? If I am in this world to do for myself then what is the point?

We give ourself what we want, we spend our money on ourself, we only think about what kind of relationships will make us stronger (make me stronger) or us happier or make MY world better. What are we leaving behind when we leave? Well I would answer with, absolutely nothing.

There is nothing left after we are gone but a faded shadow of what could have been.

What could have been?

A light in someone else’s life. Someone who is different or hard to love, someone who doesn’t make us light up when we are around them. If we touch someone else and change their life, just think of how many others are changed just by that one small thing that we did, that one small sacrifice that we made.

Our light though tiny, just a speck in the night sky, has the potential to light up a city.

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My Stuff is Better than all of Your Stuff

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My stuff is better than all of your stuff.

That is what an almost 4 year old told me today. I’ve heard the same thing from this same little kiddo a few times but this time I was deeply offended.

Yes, an almost 4 year old deeply offended me. (Oh I love kids and how they can make you feel bad without even knowing it or trying. Yes I was offended, I’m not proud) It’s not because what they said is true or that I’m envious of “all of their stuff” but it’s more of a situation where as a parent of the same age kids I can’t imagine my kids saying this to anyone and for that matter multiple times. (It would break my heart just a little if they looked at things like this or made other kids feel bad. I’m sure there will come a day though…:/) I know that kids will be kids and they say stuff not knowing really what they are even talking about but I have explained it to this particular child so many times. My kids have even responded with…

“But we have to be happy with what we have and what we get.”

My response is about the same, just a little more in-depth such as,

“Your stuff is better than my stuff, huh? Well your face…. ”

Pause, remain calm, I am 30 and this is a child… approach changes…

“It’s not about the things we have but the people who we get to share it with, like our brother and sisters or our neighbors and even people that we don’t know but don’t have as much as we do.”

My kids seem to understand this (and I’m not saying they are rays of sunshine all the time themselves.) There have been fits when they don’t want to do something or leave a certain place. My daughter is as stubborn as they come. I get it, they are kids and they are learning how to express their feelings and emotions and how to respond to certain situations and sometimes it’s not always how I want them to act. Okay okay okay now that all being said…

“My stuff is better than all of your stuff.”

Said in various ways to me and my kids the last few times we’ve been around this child is really starting to get under my skin and I automatically think, this kids parents are creating a monster. (Those are just my instant ideas, I’m sure it’s not true and I’m sure they are just lovely!) I have to pull my annoyed feelings inwards because again I do realize that this cute little kiddo is only 4ish.

I also realize that this is one of many times my kids may be told things like this, that children will not treat them kindly or fairly and that they will probably wonder or start feeling like they deserve more, that it’s normal for others to get everything they want right when they want it and if its normal for these other kids then why aren’t they given everything their hearts desire as well. So I really can’t hold it against this child (maybe their parents;) but I can try my hardest to instill in my children what the most important desires of our hearts should be. Not to desire things but to desire love, a generous heart, a giving spirit, our family and friends and people in general. A genuine love for God.

Those things are my desires for my kiddos and for others kiddos as well. Even the ones that tell me how horrible all of our stuff is. 😉

So, moral of the story, here’s to not letting a cute little almost 4 year old hurt my feelings… again.