Tag Archives: tired

Burnt Out and it Feels so Good

I have a confession…. I’m burnt out and I’m proud to admit it.

A little back story…

I don’t like to complain, I don’t like to be tired with what I’m doing. I don’t like to be ungrateful.

I’m the type of person that has a bad day and always tries to thank God that he even allowed me to have it. Every day is a gift. My kids waking up everyday is a gift, my husband kissing me goodbye in the morning and kissing me goodnight in the evening is a gift.

I know this.

I’m a stay at home mom who will and kinda is homeschooling, that is my choice, that is a blessing and while some days I wanna cry, I pick my laundry basket up and try to be the best mom/wife I can be. Who knows how long this special gift will last right?

I try to show love and kindness to everyone and I try even harder to love people, actually love them. I will admit there is a handful of people that are pretty much a constant in my life that make it very hard sometimes.

But this last week and I know probably several times in the past, I’ve been just done. There are a lot of balls in the air and I feel like right now they are at my feet. I am not arrogant enough to believe that I’m the only one to go through this, everyone does and I’m not trying to play the woe is me game. But I will say that in the past I haven’t let myself admit when I’m tired or in a funk or burnt out and this time around I kinda feel like shouting it to the roof tops. Not complain but accept that this comes even with the most exciting of lives.

I’ve realized I shouldn’t be ashamed of feeling tired and burnt out. I shouldn’t go into hiding or pretend mode. I shouldn’t feel like the dead beat mom who isn’t stoked to pick up toys for the 11 hundredth time! It’s okay to be tired, it’s okay to feel burnt out and I should feel good that I have things that keep me busy and burn me out.

Honestly I’m just happy that I’m able to have balls in the air in the first place. I’m happy that I have food in the fridge that I’m too tired to prepare. Yes I’m ending this on a positive note because as I’ve explained I can’t help myself….

Just because I’m tired or burnt out or feel like curling up into a ball and sleeping for 12 hours doesn’t mean I’m a failure and it doesn’t mean I’m not grateful. It just means I have that much more to hold onto. That much more to embrace and that maybe a weekend away is well overdue.

So to the rooftops I sing….

I’m burnt out and it feels so good!

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From Newborn to Normal

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With every baby that comes along there is this period that goes by in a quick blur and has its own uniqueness too it. From it’s own particular smell to its soft caress. This is our 3rd go around with the newborn phase. While I love this stage I’m always ready when it’s over and the next stage begins and sadly this time around I didn’t even feel it slip away.

There have been the extra small and extra warm snuggles. There have been sweet rubs of those soft cheeks and little butterfly kisses. The newborn smell that sticks to you night and day. The quiet whimpers of a new little one needing a nipple. The lullabies that always seem too few. The snuggle wraps and sleepers, the booties and little caps. The staring at their little faces for hours until you can’t keep your eyes open.

But with these precious moments come those not so easy moments….

The sleepless nights and sleepless days, the sweet smelling watered down poo that you don’t know what to make of and sometimes hits you like a water hose. The cracked and bleeding nipples. A new found fear of leaving the house with 3 children instead of 2. Another fear of ignoring your existing children. The constant crying, from you not the baby. Not knowing what to do if all kids plus your newborn starts crying at once or if you are a first time parent not knowing what to do in general.

These things all mesh well together, the good the bad and all the in between. They mesh so well together that there is no time to ponder them or embrace them or really think about them until they are good and gone. As such in my case I woke up one morning and it was like a normal old day. A routine has begun. The new baby is 5 months old and not so brand new anymore. I’ve left the house several times with all three and did an okay job without even giving myself credit. My newborn days are over and my new normal days have started and I feel a little bit like I missed it. A little bit sad but a little relieved. Not as tired, a little more prepared and confident. I can proudly say:

“I’m a mom of 3 now.”

I can say this without an anxious heart. Those newborn days will be thought of fondly and loved much but I can say with a full heart that our family is complete and it’s back to business as usual.

Here’s to living another day with a family of the perfect number 5.