Tag Archives: wife

Bench Warming Summer

I haven’t been around in a while and for that I blame everyone but myself.

In all honesty, I do feel like there were a few things against me over the summer that led to my pretty severe absence. My phone fell on concrete and shattered and I had to go one step above old school phones(I did all my blogging on my phone…just fyi) and our computer suddenly hooked up to our T.V by some unknown force (hubby) and our only real functional, quick fix for my blogging was my husbands work laptop that is never around. So there have been some unforeseen things that made my blogging a little harder to complete… and then there was just my laziness.

You wonder how I am back… well I now have my hubby’s “old” work laptop because he upgraded, I really have no complaints about that!

So what have we been doing for the last 3 plus months?  We have been knee deep in our first year of homeschool, our first year of c0-0p and my first year of the busiest I’ve ever been. That last sentence might seem a little over-the-top but really, I mean every word. I’ve been planning, and praying and worrying over homeschooling for the last 2 years and now that it’s here I really don’t have much time to do any of those things except pray but even then it’s a lot less than before. I think that’s only because I really do feel, in my gut, that homeschooling is for us. The last two years I spent praying about it and wondering if I could cut it and while I don’t really know if I can cut it, I think for the most part our family is rocking the first year. Don’t get me wrong, I struggle to find things for my youngers to do when I’m doing things with my kindergartener that they just can’t do. Our littlest likes attention a lot. (There is really nothing more I can add to that.) For the most part though, we have fallen into a groove and while I know it’s right for us I also know that it is stinking hard and hectic and sometimes insane but I really wouldn’t change it for anything.

So I have missed all the blogs that I have followed and the bloggers that follow me. Sadly I haven’t been able to or made time to get on and take a gander. My title of this post really is as true as it can be. I feel like I’ve just been sitting on the sidelines the last few months, I’ve been itching to get back into writing and just the blogging community in general! Can’t wait to see what ya’ll have been up to!!

Here’s to getting off that bench!!

 

 

 

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Just a Coat of Paint and a Pocket Full of Dreams

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My house is in a serious state of despair. We are redoing our “master” bathroom; new paint, new lighting, new vanity, new decor etc etc. For some reason the rest of the house is suffering because one of the smallest rooms in the house is getting special treatment.

I’m a scattered mess when it comes to doing things in an orderly, step by step fashion. I’ve been known to start cleaning one room and end up doing something entirely different with an entirely different outcome and an entirely puzzled expression from my husband at the end of the day. For example; I started cleaning the kitchen (it was in one of those, haven’t been touched in a week stages). I was clearing off the table and saw a jacket so I took it to the closet in the living room which is where I found a pile of shoes. Oh my those need to be sorted I took a few pairs to my room and threw them on top of a lot of other pairs of shoes in our closet which is when I decided the closet needed some serious straightening. One thing led to another and within 20 minutes everything in our closet was out on the bed ready for some major sorting. But then the baby cried and he needed fed so the closet was forgotten as was the disarrayed kitchen and well the rest is history. My husband gets from work and just looks at me with a long shake of his head. He knows, oh he knows.

The simple task of cleaning the kitchen left me with my closet on my bed and my kitchen remaining in that sad state. So you can imagine where redoing a bathroom will lead me. Last night it lead me to the kitchen (yes the kitchen again) where instead of starting on the bathroom I ended up painting the trim in the kitchen white. Now if you have read my other DIY Posts you know that the majority of my house is honey oak. Honey oak wood floors, honey oak trim, honey oak blinds, honey oak cabinets and then everything else is brass. I was up to my eyeballs in honey oak and brass and was starting to get itchy scalp from it! (Itchy scalp – something that occurs after severe annoyances, such as noises, colors and people feel as though they are suffocating you. This actually originated from my sister, she used to start itching her head when she became irritated with something or someone and it always made us laugh.)

Anyways I have completed the bottom trim in kitchen and am back to the bathroom to finish what I started. Hopefully next week I will have an updated bathroom to share with you!

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You can find the paint I used on the trim here

I didn’t sand or prime but did scrub it as clean as possible.

This Just In! Adulthood is Here

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You would think having 3 babies and a husband and a mortgage would have brought the adult out in me but it hasnt, it’s been more like playing house. I get to burp and feed and dress my babies just like I did when I was six and had 20 pretend babies. Ive been practicing my whole life for that and I used to pretend I had husbands all the time too, they were fake and usually in the shape of a pillow but they were mine so…

BOOM PRACTICE!

I got taller but seem to have never stopped playing. That was until the last few months. I think that everything was all kinda coming at me real slow like and then

BAM

it hit me like a tractor. I saw it coming but wanted to keep picking flowers and didn’t move in time. Now I am an adult and I don’t quite know how to act or react.

Here are the 6 reasons why I’ve been kicked in the butt by adulthood.

1. We are saving up for a van, yes a van, but with 3 kids packed like sardines in the back seat of our SUV the idea of a van makes my heart melt.

2. I wear elastic waistbands all the time, I mean all the time!

3. I want to redo our house so we can sell it and buy the house we are gonna die in.

4. Makeup just doesn’t matter any more. While I do like to doll up still it is very rare that I have time for it. My face is naked and haggard and I just don’t have a chance to care.

5. I went to a pampered chef party and bought measuring cups….. measuring cups people!

6. I told my daughter she needed to fix her attitude, which is identical to what my mom said to me growing up.

I realize that these are silly reasons but when I noticed them and felt them all within a couple weeks of each other the word adulthood took my breath away.

I shall explain in a few short sentences, I am not at all afraid of getting older. I shrieked with glee when I turned 30. I will not dye my gray hairs and I will not get too fussy when I start wearing elastic pants all the time (wait, already there!). But the actual adulthood thing… eek. For some reason when I think of an adult I think of someone who doesn’t skip anymore or laugh out loud, or really have any fun at all.

I realize I totally have a misconception of the word.

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The actual definition of adult:

having attained full size and strength; grown up; mature: an adult person, animal, or plant.

Being a mature grown up never hurt anybody I suppose. It’s what my parents always wanted for me. (sigh)

So instead of running away and sulking I will just have to pull up my elastic adult pants and skip ahead. Embrace that word like I did 30 and pay my bills on time.

Yay for me!

Is This Marriage On?

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Have you ever treated your marriage like a microphone that just isn’t carrying your voice. You aren’t sure if you are being heard, if your words are coming across clearly so you just keep tapping the microphone, tapping it until you hear that loud vibrating bomp it gives off when it’s working. Occasionally I feel like I’m just waiting to hear that bomp in my marriage. Just a sign that my husband sees me, a sign that we aren’t really roommates who’ve decided to have kids together for the increased tax return. I don’t think I’m alone in these thoughts. It’s not like they are all the time but all marriages do go through slumps. If someone tries to argue with me on this please look at divorce statistics first and if you can convince me that a divorce isn’t the worst kind of slump in a marriage than I might just have to give you a gold star. Yeah, you thought about it, I’m not giving out any gold stars today am I? Same with those marriages that last 50-60 years. You can’t be under the same roof with somebody that long without a few terrifying slumps!

Mr. Lane and I have had our share of slumps, sometimes it’s just getting into the routine of turning on the television right after the kids are down and not really interacting the rest of the night. Sometimes it’s not really seeing each other, not taking the time to show our love to one another. I’ve heard people say,

“Well, you shouldn’t have to see proof to know that your spouse loves you.”

Okay, I get what you’re saying, if you are really in love then they should just know how you feel and that be that. But then come those dreaded slumps, the microphone moments when you just don’t know if that marriage, that love is working anymore. Those slumps can easily turn into slopes if we let them. Mr. Lane and I have fallen into the snare of a downward slump/slope and it took one of us noticing, one of us saying, WOAH… wait a minute here this thing, this once wonderful and loving marriage is slowly dying. Thank the Lord that one of us has always shown the other love, put the other back on top of their list of priorities and trudged up out of that slump. It takes work, it takes determination and a little humbling of oneself to do it but it can be done.

John 13:34 says, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”

So how has God loved us? How does God love us? Well, he shows me everyday by the blessings he has given me, my children, my marriage (slump or no slump), his forgiveness and grace that constantly overwhelms me because I know I don’t deserve it. When I feel like this marriage isn’t working, when it feels like there isn’t enough love to carry it, that’s when I think of all the ways God loves. Showing I love my husband can be as small as bringing home Mike and Ikes because that’s his favorite candy or as big as a scavenger hunt around the house, which I’ve done by the way and I think I had more fun with it than he did but it’s the thought that counts. I’m sure you can go bigger than that but remember I’m a stay at home mom;).

So when you are wishing your spouse would give a little and show some love first and then you can return it, remember there is no prize for the quietest mouse game. And if there is it’s not going to be much better than a little tootsie roll which doesn’t last long and hurts later. (I’m not the greatest at metaphors but after rereading that one I’ve decided to keep it because it gave me a little chuckle.)

I understand that all marriages have different struggles and hurts. Some have seen much better days and some have already seen their final days. I just write about what I’ve learned in my marriage and what has helped us get through some not so lovey dovey marriage moments and I’m sure there will be more to come but I also know that if we love like God loves than it’s easier to get through it, easier to love with your whole heart even when we don’t feel it in return. I always think about how sad it must make God to have so many not return his love but how he still loves us regardless. I sure am thankful for that.

Here’s to turning that marriage back on!

(I wrote this a couple years ago and came across while going through my past entries. I actually read it at the exact moment I needed it so thought I would repost)

One Well-Rounded Husband

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Tonight the family got home a little later than usual so we hurried and got kids changed, brushed and tucked neatly away into their beds. I was just putting on stretchy pants and walking through the living room when my husband says,

“I don’t know what to watch.”

“What’s on?” I ask

“Mary Poppins or Boxing.” He says as he flips between the two with the remote.

I glance over at the television and smile. “I have one well-rounded husband.”

A little smile passed over his face as I continued through the room. He knew I was right. The last week and a half he has convinced me to sit through the first 4 Rocky movies but I have also been known to buy him tickets to musicals for his birthday because he absolutely loves them.

Can we say COMPLETE OPPOSITES!

So the story ends and I’m reminded of how much I love my well-rounded other half!:)